<%@LANGUAGE="VBSCRIPT" CODEPAGE="1252"%> The "Weekly Pint" from Ted Guinness - Beyond Ringside Wrestling Sports Radio
                 
 
 
     
January 13, 2015
     
                 
 

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Friends, Romans, Wrestling Fans, lend me your eyes. I have come to bury the past couple of weeks in WWE Television, not to praise it.

I had some time to reflect on the past 2 episodes of Monday Night Raw, while perusing the internet for classic literary works, which I do from time to time to find inspiration to do the uninspired tasks that lay before me. While reading some notable quotes from legendary authors and playwrights, I came across a page full of quotes from probably the most famous playwright in history. That would be William Shakespeare.

As I was reading through, a number of lines from his works jumped out at me as being relevant to what is going on within the WWE, both behind the scenes and what is being portrayed on their version of the Globe Theater, Monday Night Raw and Smackdown.

So read on, as I lay a cultural Smackdown on the events of the past two weeks on WWE TV.

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool
One of the most telling statements that Vince McMahon made on the Stone Cold Podcast*/Simulcast on the WWE Network (for only 24,218.06 Uzbekistani Soms per month), is that he doesn’t listen to critics. Of course he doesn’t. Why would he? He’s the great Vincent Kennedy McMahon dammit, and no one is going to tell him what color the sky in his world is but him. And as such, he thinks himself the wisest man in his world, which 16 or 17 years ago, he was, when he realized that wrestling fans hunger for something more real that the cartoonish characters that were being brought out week in and week out. (Homework assignment – Watch the gimmick battle royal from WrestleMania X7, that’s all the proof you need)
Now that WCW (his biggest competitor) and ECW (the instrument that ushered in the era of reality and attitude) rusting on the shelves, covered in the dusts of not yet forgotten, or re-written history, Vince has fallen back on badly developed characters (Adam Rose, The New Day, Fandango Version 2), rehashing of the evil boss Version 2, and the unbelievable statement that no one has grabbed the “brass ring” since John Cena.
The fact is, that Daniel Bryan grabbed the brass ring in spite of Vince McMahon. I would argue that Randy Orton has grabbed it. The problem is, even though they grabbed it, Vince yanked it away. For everyone else on the roster, he’s dangling it like the “blah blah insurance find me money” insurance agent dangling the dollar bill from a fishing pole… and then yanking it away because he thinks his wrestlers sports entertainers “aren’t connecting” with the audience. The fact is, he does it because they don’t connect with him, or his old archaic ways of thinking the art form formerly known as professional wrestling should be.

In this, Sir William of Shakespeare is 100% correct. A fool doth indeed thinks himself to be wise indeed.

If you prick us, do we not bleed?? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?
After 34 days off TV, the Authority was brought back to television, full of venom and hatred, and revenge they did, “firing” Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback. Ok, so you fired three performers who competed against your team. Someone explain to me how that’s “best for business”? Who are you going to replace these guys with, the scrubs you’ve been putting in front of the Ascension?

With the inane story writing, and the fan reaction to the resurrection of the Authority this soon, WWE has pricked us, but it will be WWE who will bleed, as their ratings will tank, house show attendance will shrink (I’m already reading reports of house shows with entire top sections tarped off). WWE has poisoned us, with the same constant re-telling of the same stories we weren’t into, and hopefully, those stories will die.

And WWE has not tickled us, but we still laugh at the absurdity of WWE, while patiently holding our breath, waiting for the winds of change to blow through once again.

Now is the winter of our discontent
And oh how we are discontent. All the build up, all the drama, all the emotional investment, and the most anticipated debut, wasted.
34 days.
That’s all it took. 33 days of cautious optimism that there would be a change. A change toward allowing the very same talent who “doesn’t connect” and “need to grab the brass ring” to actually have a chance to do exactly that. Then day 34, all those hopes crashed down after what I consider a very un PG, anti Be A S.T.A.R. segment where Seth Rollins basically threatened to end Edge’s life (He actually said “I’m going to kill him anyways”) unless John Cena brought back the Authority.
And with that segment, Vince and company gave a huge silent middle finger to every single fan who invested their time, energy and most importantly money on live events and the WWE Network (for the low, low price of 4617.23 Malawian Kwachs per month)

I’ve spoken to a few of my friends who are casual fans, and every one of them are running to their computers, tablets and/or smartphones to cancel their subscriptions to the network, which they only subscribed to for the free Survivor Series, and paid for December and January only because of the Royal Rumble.
We are discontented, and we are discontented because we’re possibly facing another year of the same old s**t, because that’s what Vince thinks we want. But since he doesn’t listen to critics, he’ll remain blissfully unaware that we are discontented. Until network subscriptions drop like a stone, unless they correct the course and give us something worth investing our time, emotions, and money in again.

Quick Hits: In the past Royal Rumbles, there is usually a surprise performer that makes an appearance that stops the action for 90 seconds. After watching NXT “R”Evolution, if WWE needs a entrance to fill this need, they need to bring up Finn Balor (Prince Devitt), which is easily done. Simply put on a NXT battle royal similar to what they did a few years back and bang. Instant anticipation, especially for the smarter wrestling fans familiar with the former Prince DeVitt’s work.

And finally, congratulations are in order for the posthumous induction of arguably one of the most colorful characters ever to grace a wrestling ring, and that’s “Macho Man” Randy Savage, who finally is getting the recognition that he so richly deserves. I will delve into this more after the Royal Rumble, but credit to where credit is due.
That's all for this week. Don't forget to listen to the fine programming on the Beyond Ringside radio network and support your local independent wrestling promotion.
Thanks for reading, that's your Pint!

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